User blog:BlueFrackle/Feral Rap Battles of the Animal Kingdom: Anglerfish vs. Firefly
Before you read this blog, please read this one. Unless you have absolutely no interest in doing so, in which case, don't. Alright, now, this idea was suggested by Meatholl. Two bright MCs in a duel to see who can illuminate... Actually, I can't make puns, so I won't even try. Battle FERAL RAP BATTLES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM!!! ANGLERFISH VS. FIREFLY!!! BEGIN! Anglerfish: Glow little glow worm, truth is that you blow worm Can't keep with my flow storm, soon I'll doom this low whore! I got allure and the brightest bioluminescence I'm in bathypelagic water but, good lord, you're dense! I'm a lone hunter and my prey gets trapped worse than Ackbar You're only good for little kids who like to keep you in a jar! You won't go far, I strike a light in the perpetual dark The black seadevil haunts away this woodland pixie spark I stretch the rhyme like my stomach, you got no place to go See my decoy and you can bid farewell to life, you schmo! Down in the abyss where there is no one else to see you glow When I Google you I get a fucking Joss Whedon show Firefly: This kind of shit does not affect me, I maintain my Serenity But in the whole of creation I haven't seen an uglier entity I mean, look, I don't know even what to feel when I see your face It's like a cringe-inducing Muppet out of Pigs in Space! I'm like the traffic lights because I got control over flow And I can beat the crap out of a deuterostome asshole! I follow your trail like my larvae trails a tasty slug I leave you shocked, you see, that's why they call me lightning bug! Hunt upside down all you want because, bitch, I'll make you spin! I mess you up like luciferase upon luciferin Even my blood is toxic! Brought to the surface you turn to jelly Atrophied like your husband clinging there on your belly But sure, you make a lovely couple: a monster and a parasite Can't even claim it's still a better love story than Twilight! Anglerfish: My flow's illicium; rhyming esca-lates, I'm clearly brighter So call me Melanocetus, or simply MC niger! You're a cannibalistic nit that spends the day under a leaf Want beef with me? Like your lifespan, this shall be pretty brief! You taste like shit, but to think that draws me away is unwise You can't go back, follow the light that leads to your demise You got fire in your name but that's just to mislead They say you got cold light 'cause you emit no heat Firefly: I waste no energy, it's the ultimate reaction done right Almost 100% of the joules produced convert to light! My brightness gets me laid, yours just gets you fat And I'm surely not afraid of an ugly sea twat I got a special display pattern made out just to defeat you One thing we know about God is that He got a thing for beetles WHO WON?!! WHO'S NEXT?!! YOU DECIDE!!! FERAL RAP BATTLES OF THA ANIMAL KINGDOM!!! Category:Blog posts